The following excerpt is from The Guide Chapter 10: What Are Girls Really Thinking? The Guide Managing Douchebags, Recruiting Wingmen, and Attracting Who You Want is a book written by teen guys for teen guys with the assistance of Rosalind Wiseman. The book takes experiences from teenage boys across the country and offers advice on important topics and common problems in teenage guys lives but are rarely talked about.
Do Teen Guys Need To Be Friends With Girls?
For better or worse, there’s no getting around the fact that you live in a world with girls. Even if you go to an all-guys school, at some point you have to study with girls, work with them, argue with them, and compete against them. They can be your friends, people you vaguely know at school, sisters, your enemies, or your girlfriends.
Your high school experience (and your whole life) will go better if girls like you. I don’t mean liking you because they all want to hook up with you, or liking you because you do everything they say or take their side against guys. I mean, if you project internal strength and treat girls with respect, I guarantee the non–drama queen, hot girls will find you attractive.
Let me give you a very specific example that I’m sure you can picture easily. There are always guys who love to point out to girls how boring women’s basketball is. These teen guys are missing the point. Girls hate the debate about what a joke women’s sports are. This hatred isn’t based on the merits of the argument. It’s based on the indisputable fact that the guys who insist on “winning” this argument do it because they get off on putting women down. The only girls who don’t hate this guy are insecure and not worth your time. You want to be the guy who projects confidence (you can even be cocky) but doesn’t put girls down. If you do that, girls will have your back and more.
Believe me, I know the power of girls when they decide they hate a guy. You don’t want to be that guy. There’ll be a time in high school when it’s very handy to have girls on your side.
Here’s what I want you to remember about girls:
- Girls can be very confusing to teen guys. Guys can be just as confusing to girls.
- You’ll probably get into a situation with a girl where you’ll become incredibly frustrated, if not extremely angry. Remember, if you can’t manage your mind, you can’t manage your mouth. This is when you can get into trouble.
- You have hormones. This can complicate your friendships with girls.
- By the way, girls have hormones too.
- Sometimes hormones get in the way of your friendships.
- Whether you’re gay or straight, you could still have every problem I listed above.
Yes, it’s possible to be friends with girls. It’s also possible (not 100 percent certain, but possible) that one of you will want more than friendship and then you’ll enter into the Friend Zone. There’s more about that later in the chapter.
Here I’ll explain why it’s key to be able to have a close platonic friendship with a girl.
- She can explain the girl perspective.
- You don’t have to worry about what you say. (If you do, you’ve either just become friends or you like her as more than a friend.)
- It can be easier to admit things to a close girl friend than to even your closest guy friends. Why? Because sometimes your male friends can’t deal with you being serious.
- She can tell you when you’re being a jackass, but in a way that doesn’t make you feel stupid.
Girls…they really aren’t that bad. Except when they are. Read more for details.